Raisa's Reflection on Archbishop Cruz's Seminar

Archbishop Cruz at TYA

Gwen and I decided to attend Archbishop Oscar Cruz’s seminar on the Yuchengco Auditorium since he was really vocal about his opinions about the RH Bill on media and we thought that by attending his seminar, we could gather more information about his stand on the said Bill. Additionally, his animated persona assures us that the seminar would definitely not be mind-numbing; rather, it would be filled with laughter.

The message from Archbishop Cruz that lingered to me most is, “If you want an easy life, DON’T GET MARRIED!” Honestly, I was surprised when he said this; not because I do not agree with his statement, but because of the way he blatantly delivered this statement. I did not expect a priest, an archbishop like him, would say this about the marriage life.

            Archbishop Cruz proceeded to discuss the twelve impediments of marriage. I personally agree with most of his points. For me, individuals under 16 years old are really incapable of sustaining the marriage; further, I believe that as long as the person is emotionally immature, then it would be quite difficult for the person to endure the hardships that are entailed with the married life. At a young age, it cannot be expected for the individuals to think and act maturely. Their mindsets and priorities are still roughly crafted. This is true especially since what I want now is different from what I desire when I was a kid. Some of the things that satisfy me before cannot make me feel contented now. A simple example would be the material things; before, dolls and playhouses make me feel infinitely happy, now, I indulge myself with the innovative gadgets.

            The archbishop criticized committing to a person who was divorced or annulled before. He said that the cause of failure of the previous marriage would lead to the decline of the relationship and marriage of the subsequent affair. I thought that there must be a way for the succeeding relationship to work. Personally, I believe in giving second chances. After all, it is possible for the person to change and improve himself before welcoming another relationship. Archbishop Cruz defended his statement by claiming that couples that decided to end their ties could have resorted to all possible measures to salvage their marriage, without ending up in separation. It is true that by divorcing or annulling your spouse, you are inadvertently taking the easy way out. Couples could bravely address their marital issues and exert effort to make the marriage work.

            Also, Archbishop Cruz vehemently opposes marriages between blood relatives. He explained that most of these marriages result to offspring who are abnormal. Children born from these families usually are with “defects”. They have illnesses that render them incapable of performing normal activities. The offspring from such marriage are often incapacitated to act the natural tasks of a normal person.

            The next discussion that Archbishop Cruz focused on was the symbolisms in the wedding ceremony. He explained that the veil of the bride symbolizes the resources that the husband will provide for the family. The groom gives the “arrhae” to the bride as a representation of his support for his wife and their family.

Archbishop Cruz

The Archbishop also highlighted the topic of annulment. He defined annulment as nullifying the union between the husband and wife through the “flaws” of the wedding. By annulling the marriage, the records of the marriage between the couple will not be recognized by the state at all. It was as if they were never married from the start. Annulment, unlike divorce, takes longer time frame for the courts to examine. Archbishop Cruz cited reasons on how annulment can be approved by the courts. Further, he said that these instances could always be given as excuses for the dissolution of marriage.

            Personally, I feel that individuals should not enter into marriage if they are not mature enough to handle the trials and difficulties of the union. In wedding vows, the phrase “’til death do us part” is the most memorable for me. The couple should take the announcement of the vows seriously; they should mean what they have claimed. While I am sure it giving up is the easier route, it should not even be an option for individuals who have promised that they will be together until the day they die.