Raisa's Reflection on the Interview

         When we interviewed Aunt Genelin and Uncle Jason, it felt like their relationship is fresh yet stable; they were so carefree and caring for one another that you’d never think they were married for almost 15 years now.

My Uncle Jason and Aunt Genelin

            Being Aunt Genelin’s niece and flower girl during her wedding, I never knew that they had long distance relationship before marriage. I have always heard about how long distance relationships are hard to maintain and how the “love” between couples fade because of distance.  Of course, it would be romantic to think that as long as the love between a couple is strong enough, they could maintain their relationship, however, I am not really an idealist.  True enough, what my aunt and uncle claimed about the difficulties of sustaining their relationship is reality. They had to exert more effort in making the relationship work, it surely required more commitment, and in the end, it became a testimony of how far they are willing to go for each other.

            Like any other normal relationships, my aunt and uncle do have disagreements and arguments. According to my aunt, it was not really about their relationship; rather, it was mostly about how she just could not get along with her in-laws. She expressed that she appreciated the advises of her in-laws, however, she does not wish for them to interfere on her relationship with their son; further, it irked her as well when they try to control how she nurtures her children.

Gwen and I with my Uncle Jason and Aunt Genelin

 I realized, through our interview, that for the relationship to work, it is imperative that the spouses communicate with each other properly. My uncle and aunt claimed that they always talk things through and resolve any conflicts and misunderstandings right away. It is their way of fixing any differences of ideas that they have had. I definitely agree with them. Communication is essential for any kinds of relationships to work. It makes us open to opinions of others, and at the same time, pushes us to share our thoughts as well. Further, communication strengthens the bonds amongst individuals and makes us grasp the differing points of views of other people as well.

            When it comes to expenses and financial costs, I was surprised that they do not really divide the expenses. In my family, while I do not know the exact division of costs, I know that my father is the provider of the family. My mom is a practicing dentist, and I know she receives stable income, however, most of the household expenses were paid by my dad. Also, my aunt said that they own joint bank accounts. My dad and mom do own joint bank accounts, but they also have separate bank accounts. Honestly, I do not know which of the two financial arrangements are better. Owning joint bank accounts must mean that the couples trust each other wholly, but does owning separate bank accounts illustrate otherwise? I digress.

            I admire my aunt and uncle for spending time with each other through their hectic schedule. Both of them are working; my aunt works for a bank while my uncle helps out in the family business. According to them, having a job is not just for practicality’s sake, but for self-improvement as well. It made their family more financially secured and stable, and it made both of them feel accomplished and contented.

            Through their demanding schedules, they can still manage to spend quality time with their children, Jaiverck and Jaslin. Based on their narration, they go out at least once a week, eating out, watching movies, or just hanging out at the malls. Of course, they also some quality time alone, as a couple. It is admirable that even after being married for so long, they are not feeling “sawa” of each other yet. They shared that aside from the frequent dates, they also maintain the sweetness they have even before marriage. They constantly text sweet nothings to each other and they are not shy to express their care for the other person.

            I am quite envious of the relationship they share. It was full of hardships and difficulties, but all those challenges assured them of the love they have for each other. Those hindrances made them stronger, and united them more.

            Love is not love when it can be easily given up. It is not love when you turn your back on the person you claim you love. It certainly is not love when there is no trust. While I am naïve when it comes to love, I know that any relationship, romantic or otherwise, simply would not just work without any effort from both parties.